It’s like we are all back in 3rd grade, holding our lunch trays, waiting for a familiar face to invite us to their table. Those moments of waiting seem like an eternity…
And if no one invites you to sit with them?
Now you are an adult. Maybe you have popped out a few babies, maybe you work 18 hour days, but you feel as if you been sitting alone at lunch for too long. It is time to be a grown-up who has REAL friends- ones that aren’t your dog or your Keurig. Easier said than done, right?
Here are the steps you can take to make those connections you long for!
1.) Find your passion.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard from women,
“I just can’t find any friends. No one is like me. It’s too hard.”
Find something you are passionate about and get involved! You will find other women who are passionate about the same things as you, I promise. I love the moms’ group MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers). Kidless? check out your local Junior League, promoting volunteerism among women. Volunteer at an animal shelter, join a local church and serve somewhere within, or find a gym and meet the women in a workout class. Remember:
Passion + People = Friendship.
2.) Assume the best about women.
We have been taught to not trust female friendships. If you go into a new situation thinking, “All these women are gossips and fakes,” then you will NEVER make a new friend. Instead, when you are trying to meet new women, assume they are going to be awesome! Assume the best about them, and find out who they really are, rather than labeling them.
3.) Be Confident.
This is KEY! Often women are too intimidated to introduce themselves to a new person. Decide in your mind long before you enter the room that everyone there wants to be your friend! (And honestly, they probably do!) Take a deep breath, roll your shoulders back and hold your head high. “Make-believe” you are confident, even if you aren’t.
4.) Introduce yourself.
Harder than it sounds? Nope. Be brave, approach someone, and introduce yourself. Ignore your sweaty palms and racing heart. I promise, they won’t bite! You can have something in common with that person or not (for me it, it is any mom with kids the same age as mine.) Here is an example of things I say:
“How old is your daughter? My daughter is three. I am finding three to be much harder than I imagined!”
If there is anything that connects moms, it is parenting a three year old!
You now have an instant mom friend.
Don’t worry- the kidless have hope too! Here is another opener: A genuine compliment.
“I love your shoes/shirt/bag! Where did you get them?”
That strikes up a conversation, to which I finally say,
“By the way, my name is Erica.”
In turn, they introduce themselves.
See? Everyone is looking for a friend!
So, you have met someone new and things have clicked between you two, be it on the playground or at a business luncheon. How do you take things to the next level? How do you actually become “friends?”
Well, you need a phone number/facebook contact or email to actually turn this encounter into something more! You can’t be friends with someone you can’t contact again. It is like asking them on a date.
“I’ve loved talking with you! Would you like to get together sometime for coffee/playdate/lunch/etc? Do you mind if I friend you on facebook/text you later?”
I have NEVER been turned down. Not once did another woman say, “I’d rather not, honestly.” They ALWAYS give me their info. I text them them later that day, asking to put a date on the calendar. Sometimes these women turn into good friends, sometimes not. But I won’t find the good ones if I don’t try with everyone!
Ladies, it is time we stop making excuses and finally make friendship a priority! Yes, you are busy/introverted/scared/tired. But you deserve friends to encourage you and help you through life! God will use those connections to sharpen your faith, support you in times of need, and give you a good laugh when you need it!
Just do it.
*How do you make new friends? How do you get over your fear of meeting new people? Comment below and share your story!